What would life be without that occasional silly moment of cracking jokes? So sit back relax and laugh at these jokes that are coming your way!
- What is Tarzan’s favourite Christmas song? JUNGLE- BELLS
- What do you call an exploding monkey? A BABOOM
And finally…..
- What’s the difference between bogies and broccoli? KIDS DON’T EAT BROCCOLI! Yikes!
If you’d like to get some more laughs check out the book “Horrid Henry’s Mighty Joke Book” by Francesca Simon. Go on you know you want to!
Hetty Feather by Jacqueline Wilson
In which Hetty is abandoned as a baby, brought up in a foster family, sneaks off to visit the circus, dreams her real mother is the beautiful lady with the performing horses and has to face the drab reality of life in a foundling hospital; the hideous uniform, the terrible food, the being locked in an attic. Fans will enjoy.
Don’t Pat the Wombat by Elizabeth Honey
In which a group of year 6 boys head off to have the time of their lives at camp, only to have the school’s cruellest teacher come with them. But even “The Bomb” can’t stop the practical jokes, and other hilarious misadventures in this true blue aussie tale.
The Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton
In which Joe, Beth, and Frannie introduce their cousin Rick to their many magical friends who live in the enormous tree, they have plenty of adventures together and eat lots of delicious food.
The Complete Peanuts by Charles Shultz
In which you get to hang out with Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Schroeder, Lucy & Linus and the rest of the gang for 313 pages. Don’t be put off by that number of pages, seriously, you can read that many comic strips!
Captain Underpants and the invasion of the incredibly naughty cafeteria ladies from outer space (and the subsequent assault of the equally evil lunchroom zombie nerds) : the third epic novel by by Dav Pilkey
In which Harold, George, and Captain Underpants use Wedgie Power to save the universe from the evil aliens, disguised as dinner ladies. Actually I got all that from our catalogue, because this is a book that no grown up would ever read. Which is maybe why you should?:-)
Well as amazing as it seems someone has actually written a book about poop. Yes that subject that most of us avoid is all out in the open now because Poop Happened.
This book has the history of the world from the bottom up with everything from the chamber pot to the astronaut’s toilet. It will have you rolling on your own toilet with laughter as well as pulling faces in real disgust.
For instance did you know that the Ancient Romans did not use toilet paper? In their public bathrooms they had a sponge on a stick that was placed in a bucket of salt water. After they….. you know… they would wipe themselves with the sponge and then put it back in the bucket for the next person. THAT IS DISGUSTING.
Or did you know that the first patents for flushing toilets were filed about two hundred years ago. But as recently as a hundred and fifty years ago, most homes still had no toilet. The new toilets were so pricey, only wealthy people could afford to have one. Although at first they were considered status symbols, the early toilets didn’t work very well. They smelled, they leaked, and the noise they made when they flushed was deafening. And because they were not hooked up to sever lines (which didn’t exist), they often flooded people’s basements or yards. Yuk!
Fact for the day: Did you know that there are special scientist’s that spend a lot of time studying ancient poop. They are called Paleoscatologists. Believe it or not, they can learn a lot from fossilized human excrement. Rather them that me I say.
But anyway if you are interested in Poop then this book is for you but you may want to wash your hands after reading it!
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J. K. Rowling
It is a great book full of mystery, but it does have some boring bits. From this book on the series gets much more serious. But it is over all amazing. 4 Stars.
Review by Max of Johnsonville
The Hidden Boy
By Jon Berkeley
Bea Flint, her little brother Theo, her parents, granny Delphine, her best friend Phoebe and Gabby (who needs to be wound up at the back every day), have gone by magic bus to Bell Hoot. The brochure said “Strictly groups of seven. No pets”. So when Theo disappears from the bus on the way through, Bea thinks it is because he tried to smuggle his meerkat, Nails, onto the bus but she and Phoebe discover that another person, Arkadi, had been hiding on the bus and that he was the person who taught others on the island how to use Mumbo Jumbo. Bea finds that she can hum like the bees and make them do things for her but she still can’t find Theo, and is he the Hidden Boy that the nasty Ledbetter clan want to claim as theirs?An exciting adventure story.
Last Friday, the library hosted a Secret Spy Spectacular. My favourite spy (by far) is Harriet the Spy, aka Harriet M. Welsch. Harriet is a busy body who lives with her far-too-busy parents and her never-too-busy nanny. When I say “busy body”, I mean “snoop”. Harriet likes nothing more than an afternoon spent spying on the people in her neighbourhood then heading home with a notebook full of observations for a tomato sandwich. I think books are better when the people aren’t perfect. None of the people in Louise Fitzhugh’s books are perfect: not the kids, not the teachers, not the neighbours and definitely not the parents: this is what makes her books so appealing.
Harriet the Spy is the story of a lonely girl who desperately wants to reveal something – something disturbing or astonishing or radical, just something – to break the façade of her boring and controlled life. Like lots of the more remarkable and angry characters in books, Harriet does not abide by phoneys and she is (unfortunately) not afraid to hurt feelings (including her own) if it means her life becomes more interesting, raw and real.
Lots of people have read Harriet the Spy and loved it, but not so many know about the two follow up books. Harriet returns in The Long Secret, which is a wonderful summer holiday story. The long Secret begins with a nasty (but sort-of funny) secret note and Harriet’s burning desire to find out who sent it. She enlists her mousy friend Beth Allen to reluctantly help her, and they have lots of odd encounters along the way. I like the peculiar characters – like the family who are trying to get rich making toe medicine (EW), and Bunny (COOL NAME) the pyjama-wearing piano player. The Long Secret is two books in one really: on one hand it is a riveting mystery that involves a funny holiday township, but on the other hand it is a story about feeling left out and friendship and growing up and stuff. (That leaves no hands to hold biscuits, but it’s a summer book so maybe you could just slurp a milkshake instead?).
Harriet only plays a guest role in the third book which is set back in New York. Sport focuses on Harriet’s friend Simon who is nicknamed Sport, and lives with his really nice but really hopeless Dad. There is not so much mystery in this one, but a lot of action. Poor Sport is really put through the wringer as his evil mother (no, not evil stepmother – just plain old evil mother) tries to gain custody of him so she can get her greedy mitts on his inheritance. This book is intense! Heaps of yelling and cussing and hiding and running and worrying and laughing. (Lots of laughing from me actually, especially when Sport and his friends get their own back against rich ladies and cops -ha-ha).
I would strongly recommend these books to anyone who is sick of children’s stories that are all sweet and fluffy and nice. Louise Fitzhugh died at a young age and it’s a real shame because she is one of the few authors that seems to “get” kids. She doesn’t write about kids the way adults like to see kids: boring, stupid and polite – she writes about kids the way kids are: interesting, thoughtful and really cool.
Anything but typical
By Nora Raleigh Baskin
“It’s easy to listen with the wild drone of the airplane. It is like a giant vacuum that sucks up all the other noise. Nobody even hears when you pass gas out loud on a plane”. Jason Blake does a lot of listening and figuring out of things inside his head. He doesn’t speak much and sometimes he does weird things, like shaking his hands in the air or making silly faces. Jason Blake is autistic and this is his story about how he can be himself.
This is a really good story showing us how people who are different to the normal people in this world, can find ways to cope on their own.
Don’t Pat the Wombat by Elizabeth Honey
Don’t Pat the Wombat is a fun(ny) story with features about camp. Worried about camp? Well read this book to see what camp is like. This book also includes a hilarious poem on page 46. 4 stars
Review by Ashlee of Johnsonville
